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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
im sick. again. its either from lack of sleep or my constant crying. always wake up with swollen eyes and nose. and got to put ice pack on my face. sigh. somehow, i find it hard to face each and every day. i feel in total confusion and lost. one way or another. i've changed alot. but i'm not moving on. neither am i budging. it hurts so much. sometimes it hurts so bad that i feel like stabbing myself. now, i dont even know what i want in life. all the time i use to talk about what i want to be when i grow up have lost in time. i regret everyday. for all the things ive done wrong, i still feel sinned. i never felt a sense of belonging ever since. i dont know how i can express myself. all i can do is just cry. cry myself to sleep. life is unfair. there must always be someone who is suffering. i wonder if that incident never happen, and he's still alive, will i still be in this state? where will i be now? will i meet the people i know now? my studies are affected so bad. im hating my life so much. i'be been living in a lie of my own. im in a mess. shattered. in pain. and sadness. i'll be smiling and laughing of course when i'm out with friends but, the pain and sadness is still there. and i just cant get rid of it. and it is killing me! what mess have i got myself into. ill cry in my room, in the shower, on the way to school. i just cant concentrate. i wanna study real bad! but, the thought of it just keeps me dwelling. and it sucks. i keep on telling myself that it happened a long time ago and its time for me to lead my own life. we'll meet again someday. but i cant. i think too much about it. it consumed me. i flung my biostats, frankly. now i have to score for my science subs. all the best to me, me. sigh. |
Zee CW ★ " Zee CW, the kid who always step on the pavement cracks, and blames herself, then she ran back home to her crib where she cry and cry.." Too Little Too Late - Jojo -MB0902 -Andre -Desmond -Isabelle -Michelle -Ralene -Angie -Maurice -Daryl -Dynie -Geri -Qraisha -Ifah December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 Designer : Chili. x o x o |