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Friday, February 26, 2010
2.07 am. i'm tired. but i need to get this post done and find some stuffs online. im tired but cant sleep cause... ive been sorta doing some thinking. about everything. i wonder, am i really a bad person? why am i crying so much? am i happy for being sad? what am i searching for? what do i want in life? and, why am i waiting and wasting my hoping for something that i know it will never ever happen? stupid. what the hell is wrong with me? my family? emotions? understanding? im lost. totally lost. but its okay, im always in my miserable state. i just dont understand whats wrong with everything. i sense an imbalance. at home, i feel misunderstood. in public, i feel foreign. in my room i feel depressed, sad, angry but safe. but seriously, i need to stop crying. its abnormal. i keep on lying to myself. but nothing will ever be fine. i guess, i cant actually have whatever i want in life. it hurts me real bad but i have got to live with it and carve a painful smile on my face. id rather get hurt myself than seeing others getting hurt. the guilt will last. so its better to suffer with pain than guilt. my spirits are broken. my heart is shattered. my mind is lost. everything just seems to get worse. ive been lying on the floor for too long. even if my tears were to turn blood, nothing will change. i'll still be where i am.sigh. i have to look after my sis today. =) pink.carnation.love. ^^ im hurting myself, but its okay.. good night world - 2.20am |
Zee CW ★ " Zee CW, the kid who always step on the pavement cracks, and blames herself, then she ran back home to her crib where she cry and cry.." Too Little Too Late - Jojo -MB0902 -Andre -Desmond -Isabelle -Michelle -Ralene -Angie -Maurice -Daryl -Dynie -Geri -Qraisha -Ifah December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 Designer : Chili. x o x o |