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Monday, January 18, 2010
sometimes i wonder, how does it feel to live amongst the clouds. i feel constricted. sad. disappointed. angry. heartbroken. hopeless. i just wanna scream. maybe scream till i pass out or something. i just wanna get out from this body maybe. my head hurts like real bad. sometimes, or most of the time, i just wish someone would understand me. my parents don't. my siblings don't. i'm trying to cope with everything. i've lost interest in my studies. i've lost interest in almost everything. i just wanna be somewhere peaceful. somewhere i can think about myself. i've cried too much. going home just makes it worse. i'll just end up having this awkward or an argument with my family. is there something wrong with me? am i the one to blame? what did i do? i think the people around me are already used to seeing me being sad and depressed. oh well, thats zee. the problematic one. i missed everything i used to love. it really break my heart to hear something mean or hurtful coming out from my own family. i'll try to not take it for real but, its like a venom. i love my family so very much eventhough at times i might say that i hate them. i'd die for them to be safe. but, all i see is that i'm on the losing end. i forgot the feeling of being loved. how it feels like to hug. how it feel like to laugh out loud. how it feels like to not suffer with an illness which controls my youth. i wanna be clever back again. i feel so empty now. my life is full of emptiness. i don't know what to look forward everyday. i got no one to actually talk to about my problems. not even my sister. she have her own priorities. i miss hugging. grover is the only thing i hug now. *refer to my older post to know what is grover* last night, somehow, i dream. not a bad dream. i find it weird cause i'm on sleeping meds so i just sleep for the sake of resting my eyes. but its just a dream, sleeping games. sigh. if only.. |
Zee CW ★ " Zee CW, the kid who always step on the pavement cracks, and blames herself, then she ran back home to her crib where she cry and cry.." Too Little Too Late - Jojo -MB0902 -Andre -Desmond -Isabelle -Michelle -Ralene -Angie -Maurice -Daryl -Dynie -Geri -Qraisha -Ifah December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 Designer : Chili. x o x o |