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Saturday, January 9, 2010
i feel hopeless right now. i feel like my life right now is like the game of Jenga. pull the wrong block, everything comes crashing down. and yes, i got to admit i am sad. i'm disheartened. all i did for past few month was to waste tears. i'm so very sad that i'm losing myself. and hell yeah i'm smiling and laughing when i'm in school, or when im in the mall but deep down in the deepest corner of my heart, i'm broken, shattered... dead. i know that this is the consequence for keeping all problems faced to oneself. but till now, i dont really know who i can rely on. i was hoping. but they'll never become a reality. i'm not worthy i guess.. i've lost lots of friends last year. am i gonna lose more this year? frankly speaking, i don't have anymore friends. i dont even have any buddy to hang out with. i really, really, really miss anthony. so much. i'm lost. i've lost myself. i've lost myself to the depression that i'm suffering. i've lost everything that i ever wanted. my studies are crashing down. now, all i do at home is to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. thinking how miserable i am. i envy people who has everything in life. i envy people who are happy with their loved ones. i envy people who live life to the fullest. i hate myself for being this way. i've spent about half of my teenage years going back and forth clinics and hospitals. i think i made myself this way. hahha see how stupid can i be. i need to find myself. i'm starting to isolate myself. and be somewhere peaceful. AM would never work for me. i told mom about my current situation but, i just disappoint myself in doing so. get well soon mom. |
Zee CW ★ " Zee CW, the kid who always step on the pavement cracks, and blames herself, then she ran back home to her crib where she cry and cry.." Too Little Too Late - Jojo -MB0902 -Andre -Desmond -Isabelle -Michelle -Ralene -Angie -Maurice -Daryl -Dynie -Geri -Qraisha -Ifah December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 Designer : Chili. x o x o |